Humor

On the Lighter Side

Legal secretary to amorous boyfriend, "Stop and/or I'll slap your face!"

Two little girls were having an argument.
Mindy says, "My dad's better! He's an important man! He's a carpenter! He makes huge buildings!"
Carol retorts, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad's a lawyer! He makes loopholes!"

The trial was about to begin when the judge noticed that one of the jurors was missing.
"Where is Mr. Hall?" demanded the judge.
The jury foreman rose and replied, "Oh, judge, sir, he's my brother, he's gone hunting, but don't worry, he's left his verdict with me."

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Attorney Brown, a family lawyer, was briefing his client, Ms. Harris, before calling her to testify.
Attorney Brown: "You must swear to tell the absolute truth. Do you understand?"
Ms. Harris: "Yes, I'm to swear to tell the truth."
Attorney Brown: "Have you any idea what will happen if you don't tell the truth?"
Ms. Harris: "Absolutely! Our side will win!"

Question: How can you tell if it's a skunk or a lawyer that's been run over on the road?
Answer: There are skid marks around the skunk.

As the young, newly-admitted lawyer finished his summation, he looked up at the judge, adding, "If it pleases the court, if I am wrong with this summation, I have a couple more arguments that are equally convincing!"

Mr. Pelton needed a family lawyer, so he flipped open the yellow pages and decided to call Sinker, Sinker, Sinker & Sinker.
Law firm: "Hello, Sinker, Sinker, Sinker & Sinker"
Mr. Pelton: "May I speak with Mr. Sinker please?"
Law firm: "Which Mr. Singer?"
Mr. Pelton: "Is the first Mr. Sinker available?"
Law firm: "I'm sorry, he is partially retired and not in today."
Mr. Pelton: "Okay, may I speak with the second Mr. Sinker please?"
Law firm: "I'm sorry, he is trial in Green Bay today."
Mr. Pelton: "Okay, well, then may I speak with the third Mr. Sinker please?"
Law firm: "I'm sorry, he is playing golf today."
Mr. Pelton: "Very well. May I speak with the last Mr. Sinker please?"
Law firm: "Speaking."

Definition of a Judge: a law student who corrects his own examination papers.